Saturday, 26 May 2007

The Disappointment

I don’t know why but I feel I need to write a bit about The Disappointment I refer to above. I think it is because until I do this, I can’t draw a line under it. At the moment it just always seems to be there, somewhere in my mind – and I feel it now gets in the way of PLAN A.

So here goes. I’ve worked with the same organisation for many years now and I’ve steadily worked my way up the ladder to a reasonably senior position. Around 4 years ago a further promotion opportunity came up. I went for it, encouraged by my managers, but didn’t get it. I was disappointed but it wasn’t the end of the world. I knew it would be a while before another chance came along but decided that I would take that time to position myself as best I could for when the next one came. I took on some very big challenges and delivered on them. I took on additional tasks and delivered on them. I took on corporate roles and delivered. I got great appraisal reports.

Then earlier this year, it happened. A couple of positions opened up and were offered for promotions. My managers were so convinced I would be promoted that they started to look at who they might get for my job. I remained cautious because I knew there would be stiff competition – but I knew I was ready for it. Everything I had done over the past 4 years was about proving I could deliver at that level and creating a bank of experience I could draw from.

It went wrong at the very start of the interview with a psychologist who was doing the psychometric testing. She arrived late and unwell. She did not add on the time lost due to her lateness. Throughout the interview she made wild assumptions about me and gave me little or no opportunity to explain. I didn’t get the promotion. My managers were shocked. Representations were made but the psychologist would not admit she turned up late. That was it.

In some ways it feels like it should be no big deal. I’m lucky really because I have a fairly good life. Putting The Disappointment in perspective with problems other people have or with some of the dreadful stuff that happens around our world, this is nothing. But it rocked me. My career seemed to come to a dead-end. I felt lost and didn’t know what to do next. Through the gloom of The Disappointment came a glimmer of something else. I don’t exactly know what the something else is yet. It could be one or more things. What it’s not, is about investing so much of me into an organisation which at the end of day said “oh well, never mind – something else will be along sometime”. I’m still working through what next and developing my PLAN A.

That’s it – the line is now drawn!


Abraham Lincoln said...

THank you so much for your visits to my blog. I really appreciate it though I sometimes fail to make it around to everyone. I am getting too old I guess.


Ming_the_Merciless said...

I'm so sorry to hear about The Disappointment at work. I can relate to how you feel because I encountered the same situation not too long ago.

Without going too much into detail, I focused on the positive part of my experience and now I am the wiser for it.

Hang in there. *hugs*

eg(scotland) said...

Abraham - thanks for coming over again. You have so many people posting on your site that I'm not surprised you don't make it round them all. I so love your site - the photos of the wildlife make me smile. I wish I could capture what goes on in my garden the same way.

Ming - I also love your site. You take photos of things that I would never think to - it's helping me look at things in different ways - and that a very positive thing. Thanks for your words of encoragement and the hugs.


PI said...

Hi EG! that's a bummer. So much of life seems to involve picking yourself up- dusting yourself off and starting all over again but you have the right attitude and hopefully will move on to better things. It takes a while to get over the hurt and disappointment but it will pass and meanwhile you have plan A to look forward to. Good luck!

Kim Ayres said...

My accountant is 40 this year and a senior partner in the firm, and was completely convinced she was pretty much settled where she was for the rest of her life.

She also loves hillwalking and mountain hiking and and a couple of years ago went out to Africa. There she met a man who, I was informed on the phone yesterday, she is going to marry and move out to Kazakhstan with later this year.

I think many people aroud her are sceptical about such major life changes. All I can think is: "How birlliant is that!?"

missy said...

I know what that is like. Just before I got the cfs I applied for a job where I worked, it would have been the next step up for me. Then when I went a little bit crazy and decided I didn't want the awful job so I told them, I then found out later that I would have got the job and that some really horrible girl who also applied got the job. It was all a confusing time for me and literally 2 weeks later I was off ill.
But try not to get down about it. I recently got some awful news(see my blog) and I've spent the last two days in a sort of trance. But today on this rainy, dull sunday I keeping positive and hoping that everything will get sorted, as lets face it, I'm buggered if it doesn't!
Take care x

Eryl Shields said...

Someone once said to me 'you can't change other people but you can change the way you react to them and it is that that makes the difference.' And I, somewhat slowly, have come to realise that she was right, it's been a life-saver in so many different situations over the years. Knowing and acting on this advice put me in control of my own life in a way that I don't think I'd ever been before.

Well done for not seeking out the psychologist and poking her eyes out. If you didn't, that is!

Mary Witzl said...

I had a similar experience some years back, and in the months that followed I was so filled with righteous indignation that it kept me awake at nights. On one hand, I knew that I should not have been as disappointed as I was, but on the other it was extremely hard not to focus on this.

In your place I would be infuriated with that psychologist and I am sure that I would keep replaying her visit and her stupid misassumptions about me over and over in my mind. More power to you if you can work out how to concentrate on Plan B instead of obsessing about your disappointment. I know that I would find it a challenge.

My own disappointment, by the way, ended up leading to something far better. The job that I did not get, I found out later, fizzled out; the one I got instead turned out to be fantastic.

eg(scotland) said...

Pi - thanks, your quote from the words of that great song really made me smile.

Kim - thanks for sharing the story of your accountant. I think it's great there are people who get on and make change. It's inspirational.

Missy - thanks for coming over to my site. I'm sorry about your past experience. I'm about to hop over to your site to find out what's been going on recently.

Eryl - thanks for the advice. I think I do need to change the way I am with people. Sometimes I wear my heart on my sleeve with the wrong people and don't tell it how it is with others. I need to work on getting that the right way round. On the psychologist - I 'googled' her but left it at that. Found one uninteresting reference. Not worth it.

Mary - that is just so me as well. Though I do believe that old saying about what's for you won't go past you. Have had a few sleepless nights over it - but at the weekend, I spent some positive time working on the bones of the Plan.


annulla said...

I, too, understand The Disappointment and how it feels to realize that the path you were following has taken an unexpected turn or even come to an abrupt end. I have no words of wisdom, but hope that you can soon put The Disappointment behind you.