The problem started the year before (in the previous century and indeed in the previous millennium!). But of course, me being me, I ignored it and I also kept it to myself. I put it down to basically being tired because I was working too hard and ridiculously long hours. That changed one Sunday when I was working in the garden on a project. I was pushing to get it finished but I could feel the energy draining from me and could feel the intensity of the pain in my neck increase. The lump was far bigger than it had ever been – maybe this was more than swollen glands due to tiredness (my diagnosis). I knew then I had to see a doctor. What followed was a near immediate appointment with an ENT consultant. I needed an operation to remove the lump. “I’ll be a day patient having this done under local anaesthetic?” I asked. “You need to recognise the seriousness of the illness” was the reply “general anaesthetic, possibly a week in hospital and who knows yet what follow-up treatment”.
Within days my body just seemed to give up – I could hardly move. I had no energy and I was sure that the antibiotics that I was taking in lead-up to the operation were making me feel worse – I was right, I had a massive reaction to them. The operation, which was expected to take up to an hour, took several hours. I had actually exacerbated things by having ignored the problem for so long. A week after, I was to see the consultant to have the stitches removed, and to hear what the analysis of the lump had revealed. Everything was fine – it was benign. I was off work for 3 months though as a result of the illness – I had no energy, my system was out of sync due to the medications and I’d started to put on weight as a result.
I decided that this was a life-changing experience. I needed to mend my ways. My focus would be on looking after myself, getting a better work/life balance, and putting work into perspective. So let’s fast forward …….. here I am in 2007. I have no energy, I’m carrying too much weight (which I still blame on my illness), and I still don’t have that work/life balance and focus right.
These past few weeks since ‘The Disappointment’, I’ve been sitting thinking and jotting down (mainly through mind-mapping) my thoughts, the issues, things I’d like to do and so on. I’m at the point now where I’ve identified some actions to take. What keeps stopping me is I feel I just don’t have the energy to push things along even a little bit. I read again my ‘Triple Gym Workout’ and realised that this is the lynchpin of my PLAN A. I need to take action in this area before I will feel up to taking action in other areas. I took a big step last night when I rejoined a diet class and this coming Monday I’ll get back to the gym. So I’ve started the ‘Body’ workout bit. ‘Mind’ and ‘Spirit’ to follow. Happy New Millennium!