Example 1: I can’t get internet access. Help what do I do? How do I find information without the internet? I remember the telephone directory – get a number and call …. If your call is about X press 1 ….. if your call is about Y press 2 ….. if you call is about Z press 3. Thank you. If your call is about A press 1 …. on and on …. if you are absolutely clueless press 99 and we’ll know we have a hopeless case. I press 99. Eventually I get a human. I soon realise that said human is sitting in a call centre in an entirely different continent. Based on previous experience I think – here we go! I offer apologies now. The English spoken by the person I dealt with then and the other 8 or so people I spoke with in the call centre over the following 5 days was actually very good. It was the technical bit that got me! A series of questions followed around master sockets, routers, DSL cables, microfilters and who knows what else. I responded with “there’s a white cable that’s plugged into the thingy that goes into a wee white box that goes into the other thing in the wall”. But is it the master socket they asked? “It’s the thing in the wall” I said. By day 5 I was saying, I’ve tried a different DLS cable, another router, a different microfilter but it’s still not working. I should say that every conversation with the call centre, which lasted a minimum of 30 minutes and often much more because I had to go over everything again, was punctuated every few minutes with them apologising for the loss of service. When eventually, I got it back I was falling over myself to thank them for the service they had provided and the help they had given me. Anyway, the thingy is plugged into the what’sit and the doodly thing is flashing – so I’m cooking with gas!
Example 2: The Disappointment as mentioned at the top of my blog page is at the forefront of everything at the moment. My big boss (the one above my immediate boss) is concerned I’m going to leave the organisation. She invited me for a discussion. “I know you are ……..” she says. “Disappointed?” I fill in. “There will be other ……….”. “Opportunities?” I ask? “Yes. But there are no …………”. “Guarantees? Well I understand that.” I decide not to complete her sentences after this point. It seems they think highly of …. They would be sorry to lose …. They would like me to …. And will do what they can to find something to keep …. There are ….. coming up and I would be …… for them ….. if only I can wait for …….. I came away wondering what nudge, nudge, wink, wink actually means.
Example 3: My boss (who doesn’t deserve the title!) wants me to stay in the job I’m doing. He says to me, “I promise to give you more freedom. These are exciting times. This next big job is yours to stamp your initials on.” I think “why my initials and not my name?”
You talkin’ to me?